It took multiple people telling me to stop saying sorry, for me to truly become aware of how often I was saying it. For women especially, the word “sorry” has become second nature. So often we may find ourselves apologizing for the silliest things. For example, when someone is clearly in your space bubble yet it only feels appropriate to say, “oh, excuse me, sorry”. My favorite is the inevitable, “I’m sorry, I say sorry a lot”. After coming to terms with the fact that I say sorry far too much, I decided to look into why.

In an article written for Forbes magazine, Cathy Kaprino addresses the fact that women tend to use the word “sorry”, out of fear of being rude. The word, “… seems to have become a way that women can appear more accommodating, less forceful and less strident in asking for what they want and sharing what they believe” says Kaprino. While it may be difficult to face things head on, it has become plain and simple to me that the act of apologizing in unnecessary situation has become a toxic trait that I possess - and I’m sure I’m not alone.

Don’t get me wrong, if you’ve done something where you’re clearly the issue, yes, an apology is necessary. The reason I’m choosing to write about this topic is because an apology is a very simple way of making yourself vulnerable. Why make yourself seem less confident when you don’t need to? As previously mentioned, I often find myself apologizing for ridiculous things, and then asking myself, “what do you have to be sorry for?”. Most of the time, if you’re asking yourself this question, the answer is probably nothing.

The Take Away

Be careful when apologizing to someone. Stop taking away the value of a genuine apology by continuously apologizing for things such as… asking for a discount on a sweater because theres a snag, someone else bumping into you, and anything else you find yourself apologizing for that isn’t your fault. I often hear the phrase, “The advice we give to others is often the advice we need to take ourselves”, so keep in mind, I am still a work in progress.